So why exactly would twin sisters who’d only tasted Boone’s Farm up to about five years before, decide to host a wine tour every year, sometimes twice a year? The bus ride, of course. We are sure you hated the bus ride in school. We sure did. But did you know you can reinvent your youth on a motorcoach with dozens of women as “classmates,” not one of whom will refuse to share a seat with you?
Other wine tour perks:
At least two women will show up wearing something incredible. By incredible, we mean wineglass-shaped sunglasses. They will be magical glasses that turn these women into comedians before they say a word. A crowd will form. There will be demands to know “where you found those.” The two women will have a tiny party happening before we leave the parking lot. All for under $5 and their dignity. They are our favorites. And they always will be. Followed closely by the requisite annual birthday girl in a tiara and sash.
There are always women on the bus who are traveling with best friends that they haven’t seen in ages. This will be their grand reunion. There will be shouting out car windows as they approach, running across parking lots and purses swinging wildly.
We’ll ask them how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other.
Their answer? “About a week.”
We may be at a beautiful winery, but if there’s a wooden horse or a stuffed peacock somewhere on site, you can bet one or all of us are getting a pic with it.
It’s like letting a bunch of kids out at the mall. Our mothers are nowhere to be seen and our curfew is 9 p.m. We have to cover a lot of ground in a few short hours. Posing with a dead bird qualifies as a time machine of sorts.
Guys in Beards
It’s written in every business plan in the beverage industry: There’s got to be a guy with a beard. Not just any beard, either. A big, shaggy, looky-here beard.
Once this man has been spotted, the debate begins: beard or no beard?
The non-lovers will insist on soup debris. The beard-lovers will start using monikers like “manly man.” All in all, it’s a satisfying discussion.
At every stop, we peruse the tasting menu. And this is when the dummies in the group are outed; the dummies being most everyone in attendance.
One woman will (loudly) mispronounce a wine and, always, always her so-called “best friend” will ride her hard for it. The smarter friend will offer a French accent lesson, and Sauvignon Blanc will be highlighted. The vocabulary portion of the night is underway.
Then, five minutes later, the smart friend will slaughter the name of a cheese. There will be a moment of silence. Then, equilibrium will be restored between the two, and the party will begin again.
Wine Tour 2018
Oh, wine? There’s plenty of that too! It just took us a minute to get to it with all the hijinx.
If you’d like to join us for our GTWoman Spring 2018 Wine Tour, you still have time. We are going April 20 and have billed it the “Cheers and Beers” Tour.
Yes, we are going to attempt beer. (We know we’ll be seeing the beard guy for certain this year.) And wine. And cider.
We are entering new territory. And by “new territory,” we mean beer-shaped sunglasses.
Join us for our 2018 GTWoman Wine Tour April 20th!