Mom Skillz

Pictured here is Kandy’s favorite photo. Look closely.

What is Kerry doing? Remedying a problem.

Where is she at? In her car, parked as far away from the entrance to a GTWoman luncheon as she can manage without entering traffic.

What should she be doing? Not smiling for a photo.

Most notable is the iPhone balanced on Kerry’s right thigh. She is reading her email, texting, drying her armpits and not, fortunately, seeing Kandy approach with a camera.

This here, is what we like to call Mom Skillz.

For Kerry, Mom Skillz meant knowing that direct venting was the only answer to pitting out her shirt.

For Kandy, Mom Skillz meant knowing a sisterly moment was unfolding and recording it.

And for our GTWoman Motherhood issue, we’d like to take a moment to honor Mom Skillz. These are skillz that translate from home to business in the blink of antiperspirant gone bad:

Situation: Often touted as life-threatening: sliver in child’s foot.
Mom Skillz: Extraction must be done on child who, only yesterday you couldn’t budge from the candy aisle, but has now become slippery, transparent, loose: a shape shifter. Calling in back-up with a bent knee that outweighs the child is favorable.
Biz Skillz: This is also sometimes known as Making the Sale.

Situation: The sound of a bee landing half a mile away from a child who once had a bee fly in his shirt that made his mother go bat-sh!t crazy on him to get it out.
Mom Skillz: Mother must remain calm while panicking wildly herself. She must admonish child for his overreaction while looking about frantically for her husband, sister or mailman to come upon the scene. At which point she can run, flap her arms and leave it to someone else to act all grown-uppy.
Biz Skillz: Often known as When the Boss Enters the Room.

Situation: Toys exploded all over house, some on back porch, at least one on roof.
Mom Skillz: Wait until mother-in-law is coming for visit and blow up at children. Bluster about yelling and stuffing things. Pencils in the underwear drawer, undies in the junk drawer. Whatever. Just get it out of sight.
Biz Skills: Also known as Corporate Will Be Here for a Visit This Afternoon.

Situation: Emptying shavings from children’s pencil sharpener.
Mom Skillz: Not able to open compartment over the garbage can. Finally figuring out how to do it in a fury of superhuman strength, over the carpeting.
Biz Skills: Also known as Trying to Sneak a Powdered Donut from a
Co-Worker’s Cubicle.

Really, is there any Mom situation that doesn’t translate to business? To Moms everywhere, we salute your skillz!

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