2010 Resolutions

For my GTWoman Magazine, these are my resolutions:

We will not promise everyone an article in the magazine and then have Kandy worry and wince and dread the true space available. Kandy will control her enthusiasm and say “no” when the issue is full. For those of you who get the brand new patented “no” — we are sorry. Actually, we’d like to direct you to Leann Foley, who we have hired as our bodyguard. (Assistant editor sounded better on her biz cards and when we offered her the job.)

We will not wait to find something to wear to our very own events the hour before we are to arrive for set-up. This means we may no longer smell like cardboard boxes and have folds forming squares over our chests and backs.

We will finally order name tags that are legible. They won’t be black on gold, the blight of reflective name tags everywhere. We’ll come up with something clever. Maybe even add color and nicknames. Watch for a staff of “Rosco P. Coltranes” and “Dwights” in the very near future.

We resolve when asked to partake in a fundraiser to train for it. Last year we were asked to Bowl for Kids Sake. Our “training” involved a 4- and 5-year old, a 6-pound ball and Kandy’s back blown out on the first throw. (Plan B: We wore pretty pink scarves that we flapped about to cover our mad skillz, yo!) This year, there shall be more strikeage and spareage and less scarveage and splitage.

We resolve to have more staff meetings. By “meetings” we mean pizzas. We resolve to have valid and intelligent discussions about each issue, discussions that will stay on track, concise yet interesting. We will do away with small talk (such as how there’s an abundance of smalls on the clearance racks at Kohl’s) and instead rate our readers’ husbands’ hottness (see pages 26-27). We hope this will bring joy and bonding to our staff, and, dare we say, everlasting harmony.

We will not bring work home with us. Especially the kind where Kandy drives everyone bonkers because she won’t shut up about “how unbelievably cool” a story is and how “like totally” she met the “awesomest woman ever” today. For her family’s sake, she resolves to limit such outbursts to Wednesdays.

We resolve to end each luncheon on time. Even 10 minutes early, thereby giving women around the world that delicious feeling of time to spare. Ten minutes falling into their laps, golden and sweet, like a Labrador puppy.

We resolve to honor the Network Nite “after party” that often unfolds unbidden, yet not unwelcome. Instead of watching the time and worrying about kids and work and alarm clocks, we’ll spread out and tuck into the magic of an extended Girls Night Out, if and when it descends upon us. For it is out of our hands.

And there you have it. Our resolutions for Twenty-Ten. We hope you’ll take time to think about what you want for the new year: Get some practical ones written down (bodyguards), some that take no resolve at all (after parties) and some improbable ones (bowling champs). Go crazy!